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Posts tagged ‘surrender to God’

Your Child Is Not Your Enemy

SOURCE:  Brooke McGlothlin/Gospel Centered Mom/FamilyLife

Here are eight ways we can fight for, not against, our children in their hard-to-handle moments.

When the days of mothering grow long and make a girl weary, and when what you really want to do is lock your child in a bedroom and throw away the key, it’s good to remember this: Your child is not your enemy.

Our goal for our children isn’t to create super kids, nor is it to strip them of all the quirks and traits that make up their personalities. Our fight is to help them grow toward Christlikeness, into the best version of them that they can be.

With that in mind, here are eight ways we can fight for, not against, our children in their hard-to-handle moments.

1.Tell God He can have you. I made this number one because it’s the most important. None of the other steps matter much at all unless you’re willing to let God change you first.

I’ve learned firsthand the importance of allowing God to strip me of old, sinful habits that hinder my ability to fight for my children. In other words, most of the time the battle for my boys involves battling with myself. I’m the parent, and I can’t win if I allow myself to be dragged down to their level. My goal is to rise above and invite them to come with me.

2. Get in the habit of prayer. Every one of us wants to know what God wants us to do so we can just do it and be done. I sometimes feel frustrated because it doesn’t seem like God gives me clear direction when my heart is ready to do whatever He tells me to do. But I’ve come to this conclusion: Most of the time I’m too busy talking to actually hear when He is speaking to me.

That’s why taking a break to pray before I speak, before I react, and before anyone else gets up in the morning, and praying throughout the entire day is so important. God wants to give us direction and comfort, but we’re often too busy juggling life on our own to ask.

3. Embrace the power of a mommy timeout. It doesn’t necessarily take long to recharge if you know what works for you. What gives you a healthy sense of relief almost instantaneously? Is it music? A good book? Reading your favorite Bible passage? Getting on your knees in prayer? Whatever it is—and it may vary from day to day—do that.

You cannot parent your children well when your heart is frazzled. Even if you have to take five-minute mommy breaks multiple times a day, do something to focus your attention on Jesus. Remember that peace has nothing to do with what’s happening around you. Peace comes only from relationship with Jesus Christ. You can’t manufacture it with things or even changes in circumstances. It comes from within as you surrender your life to Christ.

4. Prepare ahead of time. Just as I have my own triggers, certain things tend to agitate my sons. After studying them for years now, I’m beginning to recognize these triggers and to be physically, mentally, and spiritually prepared for the inevitable.

When it’s time to leave the pool, I get their attention about 20 minutes beforehand and let them know we’re leaving in 20 minutes. Then I give them updates every few minutes so that when it’s actually time to leave they’re not taken by surprise.

I don’t think I can overemphasize prayer’s importance as an in-the-moment tactic as well as part of the advance preparation. I pray a lot. For my response as well as for my sons’.

5. Be stronger. When they were very young, I would often pick up my boys and carry them, despite their flailing and kicking, to a safe space for them to calm down. Now I can ask them to go somewhere safe, and they will, albeit not always without emotional drama. We’re fast approaching the day when they’ll be much stronger than I am, so what I’m talking about here isn’t physical strength so much as emotional and spiritual strength.

You may have heard it said that a leader can take his followers only as far as he has traveled. As a parent, you are, by default, a leader. God gave you to your children to teach them, train them, and make it as easy as possible for them to know Him. To lead them well, you don’t have to know the answers to every theological question or have your whole life together; you just have to be a few paces ahead of where they are.

6. Love harder. There are a lot of amazing things about my boys, things I know God will use one day for His glory and purpose in their lives. But for right now, they’re raw and unrefined and often drive me crazy.

One day, they’ll fight for something instead of against it. Until that time, it’s my goal to love them harder than they fight me. If my boys go to bed each night feeling more loved than fought and more a treasure than a hindrance and know there’s nothing they could ever do to make me not love them, I call that day a success.

7. Be a student of your child. There’s no one-size-fits-all method when it comes to raising godly children. Sometimes, I wish there were. Other times I’m glad it’s not up to me to change their hearts. God can do a much better job of that than I can.

What is within my power is to study my son, to really know him—his personality, what makes him happy, what makes him tick, what sets him off, what makes him feel loved. When a mom knows those things, she can tailor her parenting to the specific strengths and weaknesses of the child. It empowers the parent to reach the heart of the child, deep down inside, instead of just trying not to be inconvenienced by his bad behavior.

8. Refuse to give up. I know you’re tempted daily to give up. So am I. When things don’t go as planned, when children continue to be resentful or disobedient regularly, when the clutter grows unmanageable, and the pile of laundry threatens to avalanche, we might be tempted to say, “I quit. I’m not even going to try anymore.”

The circumstances we’re in today are not forever. If we stay the course, we will reap a harvest, even if it happens on the other side of heaven. There’s more waiting for us when we get there. The choices we make today to press on and fight the good fight will make a difference in generations to come, influencing who among our family and friends will get to join us with Jesus. Do not give up.

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Placing My Decision In The Hands Of God

SOURCE:  Charles Stanley/In Touch Ministries

Where the Battle Is Won

Matthew 26:36-56

If you want to experience victory in the conflicts you face, consider how Jesus fought and won His battles.

The pivotal battle of His life was fought even before He arrived at the cross. Praying at Gethsemane, He wrestled with the knowledge that He would bear the terrible weight of sin and endure spiritual separation from the Father.

In His special place of prayer, Jesus got alone on His face before the Father and cried out. And when He left that garden, He walked out a victor over Satan, whose sway over mankind was about to be broken on the cross. Jesus would still drink the cup of suffering and separation, but He knew that in the end, He would triumph (Heb. 12:2). That’s why He could face His opponents with courage and authority. When Jesus went to confront the arresting party, He was in full control of the situation, so much so that the Pharisees and soldiers “drew back and fell to the ground” (John 18:6). He allowed them to arrest Him, determined to do His Father’s perfect will.

If you’re in the habit of regularly spending time alone with God, you will come to know His heart and mind. Then, when you encounter major decisions with lifelong consequences, you’ll be able to discern the guidance He offers through His Spirit.

When you fully surrender, you place the consequences of your decision into the hands of an all-knowing, all-loving, all-powerful God who holds the past, present, and future. Even when you face staggering trials, you can do so with courage and power that will glorify God and shame the Enemy.

[Copyright 2012 In Touch Ministries, Inc.]

To Ignore or Not Ignore the Pain……

SOURCE:  Living Free Ministry

Freeing the Balloon

Surrender your heart to God, turn to him in prayer, and give up your sins—even those you do in secret. Then you won’t be ashamed; you will be confident and fearless. Job 11:13-15 CEV

People build walls to hide their feelings and cover up their problems and wrongdoing. We’ve all done it. We even begin to believe the lies we are telling ourselves and others. Eventually we may be unable to see the truth at all.

Life-controlling problems are usually accompanied by painful feelings of guilt and shame. This kind of pain is an indication that something is wrong. When the pain comes as a result of our sin, we need to humble ourselves, confess our fault, ask forgiveness of God and those we have offended, and right any wrongs we have done. However … sometimes it seems easier just to ignore the pain.

God designed painful feelings to be a warning system. They let us know when we need to pay attention to something in our lives. But too often we bury our feelings and don’t admit, even to ourselves, the problems deep within. These buried feelings may explode to the surface when we least expect them, causing us to do something rash or to hurt someone we care about.

Consider this … 
One [has] said this about hiding problems: “It’s kind of like trying to keep an air balloon under water … It’s hard work. And a person works hard to keep those feelings down … to keep from facing the real issues. But you know that balloon will pop—that’s why you have emotional outbursts … There’s something buried there.”

Is there a balloon in your life that you are trying to hold underwater? Today’s scripture urges us to surrender to God, giving it all to Him … even our secrets.

Prayer
Lord, I’ve worked very hard to keep this secret buried. But I’m worn out. I know I need to surrender it to you. Please forgive me, and help me change. I no longer want to be ashamed. I desire the peace and confidence that you promise. In Jesus’ name …


These thoughts were drawn from …

Living Free by Jimmy Ray Lee, D. Min. and Dan Strickland, M. Div.

Surrendering Control to God

SOURCE: Taken from an article at  Stepping Stones/Lighthouse Network Ministry

If you were ever a victim of abuse of any kind, you certainly felt you had no control in the situation…whether it was mild, like ridicule or harshness from your parents, or ranged to any other form of mistreatment like neglect in a dating relationship, or misuse of power by someone in authority. Unfortunately, for some, the abuse might have been extreme or even violent…bullying, sexual coercion while dating, mugging or physical assault, sexual molestation, or even rape.

Unfortunately, none of us escape all mistreatment.

We associate the abuse with losing control, so we make a subliminal promise to ourselves never to be in that dependent position again. We then try to control most situations…including every relationship in our lives…to make sure our vulnerability never answers the door when potential abuse knocks. An important downside of this self-protective strategy is we now have a hard time being vulnerable to, and dependent on God and His loving but controlling hand in our lives.

So, we rebel against His instruction and control. I know. I was hardheaded about turning control of my life over to Him, letting myself be vulnerable to someone…and although I am much better, I still struggle with it. But in the past, I tried being independent, controlling all areas of my life. It landed me in jail, with alcohol and a fear of other’s opinions and feelings as my masters.

None of us can be free to become all we were meant to be until we recognize that God is in control…that He loves us and wants to care for us. We are fooling ourselves when we think we can successfully make it through this life on our own. In reality, we need to lean on Him…on His wisdom, strength, love, character, promises…and especially, on His son, Jesus Christ.

Today, assess whether you are in control of your life, or whether God is.

Remember, this man you read about, Jesus, loves you. He is inviting you to put your hands in His and let Him guide you and help you through all circumstances of life…regardless of what ever has happened in the past. Stop trying to figure out everything on your own. Stop trying to forge through life depending upon your own strength and understanding. Let Jesus love you. Let Him help you reach your full potential and accomplish all the good things He has called you to do. He actually died for you…for the simple reason that He loved His Father…AND YOU! Your decision, so choose well.

 Prayer

Dear Father, forgive me for thinking I could make it through life on my own. I need Your help and Your guidance in everything I do. Help me to stop trying to control everything…help me to listen to Your voice…to obey You…to trust You. I have been leaning on myself and what the world offers, and my hole only gets deeper. Thanks for loving me more than I love me, and for showing me how much You really love me by taking my penalty and place on the cross. I pray this in the name of the One who was sent to take my place, and who teaches and guides me, Jesus Christ;  AMEN!

The Truth

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.

Proverbs 3:5-7

 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities–all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

Colossians 1:15-17

Are We Not Clay In His Hands?

SOURCE:  John Owen as posted on The Essential Owen

This, I say, is the first thing that we are to humble ourselves unto. Let us lay our mouths in the dust, and ourselves on the ground, and say,

“It is the Lord; I will be silent, because he hath done it. He is of one mind, and who can turn him? He doth whatever he pleaseth. Am not I in his hand as clay in the hand of the potter? May he not make what kind of vessel he pleases? When I was not, he brought me out of nothing by his word. What I am, or have, is merely of his pleasure. Oh, let my heart and thoughts be full of deep subjection to his supreme dominion and uncontrollable sovereignty over me!”

~John Owen

——————————————————————————

From a sermon entitled Of Walking Humbly With Godvolume 9 of Works, page 116-7.  John Owen (1616 – 1683) was an English Nonconformist church leader, theologian, and academic administrator at the University of Oxford.

Releasing the Holy Spirit’s Power

Editor’s Note:  Attachment to anything that turns into a life-controlling problem (or addiction) and becomes idolized brings slavery and not the freedom God intended for us to be able to freely love Him.  It is through the lifelong practice of surrendering to the presence and power of the Holy Spirit that we find the grace and ability to be liberated from addiction — any controlling thought, attitude, behavior, relationship contrary to God’s will for us to become like Christ.  

SOURCE:  Charles Stanley

Romans 8:26-27

The Holy Spirit indwells believers at salvation, which means His power is available from that moment (Eph. 1:13). God created a simple way for us to access that strength every single day.

First, we must accept the truth that within ourselves, we are powerless to live out God’s will. No matter how capable we may be, our own strength and wisdom are insufficient. Sometimes Christians get proud over the good they have done or the number of years they’ve been saved. Imagine how much more we could serve the Lord if we would humbly get out of God’s way and let Him work through us.

Second, we surrender our entire life to the guidance and governing of the Holy Spirit. In other words, we choose to conduct our spiritual walk—as well as our vocation, finances, family, and relationships—as God desires. His Spirit is not going to release supernatural power into a life that is continuing in rebellion.

Third, we exercise faith, which means demonstrating belief and trust in the Lord. Faith is the “switch” that releases the Spirit’s power. It’s like saying, “I believe You’ve got a plan, God, so I’m going to trust You to give me what I need in order to do Your will.” Then He will move heaven and earth to provide for your need, whatever it may be.

Merely memorizing and reviewing the steps isn’t enough. Instead, commit to these principles as a way of life. Get used to thinking, I can’t but God can— I’ll submit to His will because His plans are for my good and His glory. That’s the kind of life that surges with the Holy Spirit’s power.

Do I Say to Jesus: “Yes— But…!”

Lord, I will follow You, but . . . —Luke 9:61

Source:  Oswald Chambers

Suppose God tells you to do something that is an enormous test of your common sense, totally going against it. What will you do?

Will you hold back?

If you get into the habit of doing something physically, you will do it every time you are tested until you break the habit through sheer determination. And the same is true spiritually. Again and again you will come right up to what Jesus wants, but every time you will turn back at the true point of testing, until you are determined to abandon yourself to God in total surrender.

Yet we tend to say, “Yes, but— suppose I do obey God in this matter, what about . . . ?” Or we say, “Yes, I will obey God if what He asks of me doesn’t go against my common sense, but don’t ask me to take a step in the dark.”

Jesus Christ demands the same unrestrained, adventurous spirit in those who have placed their trust in Him that the natural man exhibits. If a person is ever going to do anything worthwhile, there will be times when he must risk everything by his leap in the dark.

In the spiritual realm, Jesus Christ demands that you risk everything you hold on to or believe through common sense, and leap by faith into what He says. Once you obey, you will immediately find that what He says is as solidly consistent as common sense.

By the test of common sense, Jesus Christ’s statements may seem mad, but when you test them by the trial of faith, your findings will fill your spirit with the awesome fact that they are the very words of God. Trust completely in God, and when He brings you to a new opportunity of adventure, offering it to you, see that you take it. We act like pagans in a crisis— only one out of an entire crowd is daring enough to invest his faith in the character of God.

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