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Posts tagged ‘handling disappointment’

5 Steps for Handling Life’s Frustrations

SOURCE:  Rick Warren

Many of our biggest mistakes in life can be traced to handling disappointment in unwise ways. In times when we’re emotionally low, it’s easy to slip back into the habits that wreaked havoc on our lives in the past. Sometimes, we just need better coping mechanisms!

Here are five simple steps for dealing with frustrations in your life, based on the Bible.

1.  Ask yourself, “Did I cause it?”

The Bible says, “A man reaps what he sows” (Galatians 6:7 NIV). Many things in life frustrate us because we brought them on ourselves. We don’t have anybody else to blame.

It’s frustrating to run out of gas on a trip. But if you didn’t stop to get gas before you left, or decided to push your luck, who’s to blame?

2.  Ask yourself, “What can I learn from it?”

Use the irritation as an opportunity to grow in character and become more like Christ.

How does God produce the fruit of the Spirit in your life? He places you in the opposite situation. If God wants to teach you love, he will put you around unlovely people. If God wants to teach you peace, he will put you in a situation of total chaos so you can have inner peace.

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him . . . ” (NIV). There are many bad things in the world, but all things work together and even the negative God can turn into a positive if we will let him.

3.  Thank God in the situation.

First Thessalonians 5:18 says, “In everything give thanks” (NKJV). You don’t have to be thankful for a bad situation. But you can be thankful in a bad situation. That frustration, that irritation, that inconvenience, that interruption, may be a blessing or an opportunity in disguise.

The apostle Paul wanted to go to Rome to preach, but God took him to Rome to be in prison and write the letters that formed the New Testament. Paul was frustrated, but God saw it as an opportunity to make him sit still long enough to write the Bible.

4.  Turn the frustration into a funny, humorous event.

The Bible says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine”  (Proverbs 17:22 NIV). A sense of humor is God’s antidote for anger and frustration.

5.  Ask God to fill you with his love.

Why? Because 1 Corinthians 13:5 says, [Love] is not easily angered” (NIV).  Love is self-giving, not self-serving. We get irritated because we think everyone and everything has to revolve around us. Love concentrates on the other person.

Jesus faced constant frustrations in his life, but he always made time for people. We get so preoccupied with our own things; we forget that people are the priority in life.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you” (Isaiah 26:3 NIV).

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10 Tips for Recovery after a Major Loss or Disappointment

SOURCE:  Ron Edmondson

Sometimes life throws curves at us that take the wind from our sail. If we aren’t careful we can allow the injury to haunt us for life; never regaining what we have lost.

  • Have you lost a job recently?
  • Have you had a business failure?
  • Did you suffer from divorce?
  • Has the person you trusted the most hurt you the deepest?

What steps should you take to get back on track after a significant loss?

Here are 10 suggestions to consider during a recovery process:

(Choose the ones that apply to your situation)

Reconnect with God – This is always a wise idea, but it becomes necessity at times like this. Some people grow closer to God during a trial (that’s the best approach). Some, however, allow a trial to distract them from their relationship with God. If that’s your story, be like the prodigal and return to a waiting Father.

Evaluate your life – Use this time to reevaluate the decisions you have made in life and, if appropriate, what got you in the situation you are in today. Are there changes that you need to make? If so, be willing to change. If you did nothing wrong in this case, release yourself from responsibility.

Create some new dreams – Don’t allow past mistakes to keep you from discovering your passions in life. Keep those creative forces going in your mind so you’ll be ready when the next big opportunity comes along.

Call in the advisors – Others can usually see things we cannot see. They approach our life from a different perspective. Give someone you trust, who has your best interest at heart, access to the painful part of your life.

Don’t take your pain and anger out on others – It doesn’t make things better (usually worse) and it hurts people who did nothing to deserve it. Don’t hold your past experiences against others who weren’t even there.

Take a break – Don’t expect to recover immediately. Your struggles probably didn’t start overnight and they will not end overnight. Give yourself time to heal. Rest.

When it’s time, be willing to risk again – Yes, you may get hurt again, but just as life is full of disappointments, it’s also full of joy and discovery. Remember that everyone is not the same and every situation is different. Your next great opportunity may be waiting for your next step of faith.

Don’t let failure or disappointment in life define you – Be defined by God’s love for you and His plan for your life. He has one you know!

Do something – Rest yes, but at some point, just do something to stay busy and occupy your mind. It’s true that the “idle mind is the devil’s workshop”. If you lost your job, find somewhere to volunteer until you find another job. If you lost a relationship, find non-sexual relationships through church or civic activities to keep from being alone.

Get back in the game – Choose your next steps carefully and don’t keep repeating the same mistakes, but at some point it will be time to enjoy life again. Life was not meant to be lived on the sidelines.

We Shall Thank God For Every Storm

SOURCE:  J.C. Ryle

“If we are true Christians, we must not expect everything smooth in our journey to heaven.”

“We must count it no strange thing, if we have to endure sicknesses, losses, bereavements, and disappointments, just like other people.”

“Free pardon and full forgiveness, grace by the way and glory to the end – all this our Savior has promised to give. But He has never promised that we shall have no afflictions. He loves us too well to promise that.”

By affliction He teaches us many precious lessons, which without it we should never learn. By affliction He shows us our emptiness and weakness, draws us to the throne of grace, purifies our affections, weans us from the world and makes us long for heaven.”

“In the resurrection morning we shall all say, ‘it is good for me that I was afflicted.’ [Psalm 119:71]  We shall thank God for every storm.”

~ J.C. Ryle

Expository Thoughts on the Gospels: Mark, [Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth, 1985], 83. {Mark 4:35-41}

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