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Posts tagged ‘choosing forgiveness’

3 Things to Remember When It’s Hard to Forgive

SOURCE:   Lysa TerKeurst, author of Uninvited

Have you ever struggled to choose forgiveness over bitterness in the midst of feeling rejected, abandoned, or hurt?

Let me be the friend who takes you by the hand to say… I understand. Choosing to forgive is hard, especially when it feels like you or someone you care for has been treated unfairly.

But the truth is, it’s good (and biblical) for us to extend forgiveness. And when we release the offense into the hands of God, we can begin to make room for healing in our hearts.

Here are 3 things to remember when forgiving others is the last thing we want to do:

Forgiveness doesn’t justify them, it frees YOU!

Forgiving someone is making the decision to choose mercy and grace over bitterness and resentment. To love God is to cooperate with His grace. Luke 6:36 says,

Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Since I’m so very aware of my own need for grace, I must be willing to freely give it away, too.

Each hole left from rejection must become an opportunity to create more and more space for grace in my heart. Forgiveness doesn’t validate them, and it doesn’t justify their hurtful actions.

Giving grace helps me. It sets me free.

What does giving grace look like in my life?

…do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. — Luke 6:27-28

Today I will:

Speak with honor in the midst of being dishonored.

Speak with peace in the midst of being threatened.

Speak of good things in the midst of a bad situation.

We have an enemy, but it’s not each other.

Truth proclaimed and lived out is a fiercely accurate weapon against evil.

How I feel:

I very much feel like my struggle is against them.

I have been deeply hurt by this struggle.

It’s hard to see that my struggle isn’t with them or caused by them.

However, truth tells me something different. Truth says I have an enemy… but it’s not the person I’m trying hard to forgive. They may very well be the cause of some hurt in my life, but they’re not my enemy.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. — Ephesians 6:12

Point your crosshairs at the real enemy and start firing off positive statements about this person who has caused pain in your life. List three things about them that are good. Then remember a fourth and fifth. Picture each of these positive statements wounding the devil and shaming him away from you.

Forgiveness releases an offense into the hands of God so that you can heal.

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean I’ll get my storybook ending. But it will bring peace and honor to a situation that would otherwise leave me bitter, defensive, and hurting. I have to trust God to get me through this forgiveness journey so that I can finally heal.

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you. — Isaiah 26:3

Lift up your hurt and honest feelings to the Lord through prayer, whether it’s written or verbal. Here’s one to get you started:

Lord, I don’t know all the details entangled in this issue. But You know all. Therefore, You are the only one who can handle all. There are a lot of things my flesh is tempted to seek — fairness, my right to be right, proof of their wrongdoing, to make them see things from my vantage point — but at this point, the only thing healthy for me to seek is You. You alone. I’m going to be obedient to You and let You handle everything else. In Your Name, Amen.

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Original devotion written by Lysa TerKeurst for Devotionals Daily featuring Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely, copyright TerKeurst Foundation. 

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FORGIVENESS: God’s Antidote for Bitterness

SOURCE:  Living Free

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. (Hebrews 12:15 NLT)

Prolonged unforgiveness can breed bitterness.

When facing major disappointments in life, most people make one of two choices: They turn to God to heal their distress and with his help forgive the one who wronged them. Or they turn away from God and become bitter.

Sometimes people become bitter toward God for not repairing or healing a situation. More often they pour anger out on the person who caused the hurt and pain. Widowed singles may deal with anger at God for allowing their spouse to die, but this temporary anger does not have to turn to bitterness. Only anger that is fed, nurtured, and encouraged will turn into the soul-killing and body-killing emotion of bitterness.

Divorced singles often have to deal with bitter feelings toward God for allowing their marriage to fail. However, they more often reserve their intense bitterness for their ex-spouse.

Single Christians who have never married yet deeply desire a mate may feel bitterness about their single status or even at God for not answering their prayer.

God’s antidote for the poison of bitterness is forgiveness. Forgiveness is never easy, and the worse the hurt involved, the more difficult it is. However, God tells us to forgive, so we would do well to begin to move from bitterness toward forgiveness, even if we stumble in the beginning.

Refusing to forgive the one who has hurt us causes us more difficulty than it does the person with whom we are angry. Medical science has identified several physical and many emotional illnesses that seem to have roots in our unwillingness to forgive. Bitterness can adversely affect relationships with friends and family. And most of all, it hinders our relationship with God.

We have a choice. We can choose forgiveness over bitterness. Each of us is responsible for our own attitude toward the ones who have hurt us. If we choose forgiveness, God will help us forgive . . . and move on.

Father, forgive me for the unforgiveness I’ve carried for so long. Help me forgive the one who hurt me and release the bitterness. In Jesus’ name . . .

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These thoughts were drawn from …

The Single Christian: Living as One in a World of Twos by Dr. Elizabeth Holland.

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