Soul-Care Articles: Christ-centered, Spirit-led, Biblically-based, Clinically-sound, Truth-oriented

Posts tagged ‘being perfect’

This “try, try again” approach will ruin you.

SOURCE:  Jan Johnson

Try, Try Again?  No.

Maybe it starts when you make a mistake: yelling at someone you love or not doing what you promised to do.

Or it starts when you see someone who seems light-years ahead of you: they grin at people who dismiss them; they praise someone who beats them out of a job. You feel so far behind! Your lack of character really shows.

Then we think: When am I going to get it? When am I going to stop being lazy, stop showing off, quit being depressed, no longer withdraw from the people I love, stop worrying over something that didn’t happen or cease trying to control my co-workers or family members? It’s easy to sink deeper into it: Why can’t I overcome this? Especially if our shortcoming is considered a “big” sin among the people we hang out with.

These questions keep our thoughts spinning and often lead to despair and hopelessness. We believe the answer is: Try harder. We’ve heard the saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, try – try again!” No. If I’ve lost my way back to my car, I don’t keep going back to the same space, thinking my car will magically appear. I pause. I stop and think. The saying should be: If at first you don’t succeed, ask God for help. I consider that God will show me a wiser, (usually) gentler approach.

First, we ask God for a “next step,” which doesn’t have to be huge. In fact, a smaller next step usually works better and leads to many more. A wise friend or spiritual director might suggest a better and different next step we haven’t thought of.

But we also look deeper. We ask the Spirit to show us the source of the problem (anger, exhaustion, boredom)? What am I afraid of? What (perhaps wise) caution is blocking me? These questions usually have to percolate with the help of the Spirit. Out of these questions may come a few small “next steps.”

This “try, try again” approach will ruin you.

Such spinning of thoughts is (I believe) a favorite method of the enemy to divert our attention from focusing on the Indwelling Christ. Going over and over our performance (How am I doing?) focuses us on ourselves, not God. When we focus on ourselves this way, we make ourselves the “star” of our spirituality instead of letting God be the “star” of our spirituality. Instead of asking, How am I doing? we ask, What, O God, are you leading me to be? To think? To do? Show me. Walk with me.

True humility involves relying on God all day long, moment by moment. “I can do all things through Christ who strengths me” . . . for the next ten minutes (Philippians 4;13, altered).

My inadequacy in this situation or my character flaw is clear to me and I’m not disturbed by it. I can’t overcome sin. “I do nothing on my own,” said Jesus (John 5:30). So I ask god, What are you leading me to be? To think? To do? Show me. Walk with me.

In humility we accept that growth is about progress, not perfection. Abraham journeyed on by stages (Genesis 12:9; 13:3). Israel was led “day by day continually” (Exodus 29:38). As we also do this, we can embrace the One who accompanies us on this journey, who loves being with us, who invites us to abide in Christ as Christ abides in us.

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Scoring Perfect at Being Perfect

SOURCE:  Living Free

How Do You Score?

“Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]”
John 14:27 AMP

So how do you score as a perfectionist? Here are some things to consider . . .

Check all that apply:

______  1. Because of fear, I often avoid participating in certain activities.

______  2. When I sense I might experience failure in some important area, I become nervous and anxious.

______  3. I worry.

______  4. I have unexplained anxiety.

______  5. I am rarely satisfied with the quality of my work.

______  6. I am compelled to justify my mistakes.

______  7. I feel I must succeed in certain areas.

______  8. I become depressed when I fail.

______  9. I become angry with people who interfere with my attempts to succeed, and, as a result, make me appear incompetent.

______ 10. I am self-critical.

Consider this …

How can you use your answers?

First – don’t worry about a perfect score! Just ask the Lord to reveal any areas you may need to work on and pray about.

In today’s scripture, Jesus reminds us the world’s ways are different from his ways. When we look to the world for security, love, and approval, we will often be disappointed. Only in Jesus can we find total acceptance, unconditional love, real security, and everlasting peace. He tells us to stop being agitated, disturbed, fearful and intimidated.

We should not measure ourselves by what the world thinks of us. We need to find peace in Jesus, knowing we are valuable because we are special to him –  and always will be.

Prayer …

Lord, help me to stop being fearful about what others think of me, trying to earn love and approval by being perfect. I know you love me unconditionally. Help me to rest in the peace that comes only from you. In Jesus’ name . . .


These thoughts were drawn from …

Seeing Yourself in God’s Image: Overcoming Anorexia and Bulimia by Martha Homme, MA, LPC.

Help, I’m Not Perfect!

SOURCE:  Living Free

“As the Scriptures say, ‘No one is righteous-not even one.'” Romans 3:10 NLT

Does God require perfectionism?

Absolutely!

Can we be perfect?

No way.

We serve a holy God. Because he is holy, only the perfect can be in his presence. He requires perfectionism (sometimes called righteousness) for us to be in relationship with him. This presents a problem because the Bible makes it clear no one is perfect. And we don’t have to look far to know that is true. We can simply look in a mirror.

But God has provided a solution to the problem.

Why?

Because he loves us and wants to have a relationship with us. He wants us to spend eternity with him.

His solution?

He sent his only son, Jesus, who was perfect, to pay the penalty for our lack of perfection, our sin. Through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we can be made perfect – not by what we do, but by what he did.

We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty  for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. (Romans 3:22-25 NLT)

Consider this … 

Christ died for me . . .

  • Because I cannot be perfect
  • So I need not be perfect

Are you still struggling to do life on your own? Always trying to do the right thing but so often coming up short? Only Jesus can help you. If you’ve never done so, consider turning to him. Do you believe he is the perfect Son of God who died and rose again? Are you ready to give him all the failures and sins and begin depending on him instead of yourself? Then tell him. He loves you unconditionally and wants to forgive you and help you through life.

When you have invited Jesus into your life, he covers you with his righteousness. When our heavenly Father looks at you, he sees only that righteousness. Not because of anything you did or didn’t do – but because of Jesus.

I am overwhelmed with joy in the LORD my God! For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness. (Isaiah 61:10 NLT)

Prayer
God, I know I have sinned. I believe Jesus, your perfect son, died on the cross for my sins. I accept the forgiveness, the gift of righteousness, he offers me. Please forgive me. I want to follow Jesus. In his name . . .


These thoughts were drawn from …

Seeing Yourself in God’s Image: Overcoming Anorexia and Bulimia by Martha Homme, MA, LPC.

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