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Archive for the ‘Body Image’ Category

Talking to Your Children About Transgender Issues

SOURCE:  Jeff Johnston/Focus on the Family

Many were surprised when Bruce Jenner started appearing in public with long hair, wearing a dress and then announced his decision to “transition into a woman.” Jenner was an Olympic Decathlon gold medalist, a hero and role model for many in the ’70’s and ’80’s. Yet, now we learn that all along, he believed he was a woman. Photos of Jenner recently published in Vanity Fair magazine were even more shocking.

When confusing events like this are broadcast throughout the culture, Focus on the Family is asked a lot of questions. And we know parents get asked questions, too:

  • Daddy, why does that man want to be a lady?
  • Mom, what does “transgender” mean?
  • Can a boy turn into a girl?
  • Mommy, I’m a girl, but will I ever change into a boy?

Transgenderism — also called “gender dysphoria,” “gender confusion” or “gender identity disorder” — is tough enough for adults to understand. So when our children encounter these gender-confusing messages, what do we say? Most importantly, how do we help them develop a biblical, Christian perspective on this issue?

Focus on the Family wants to help parents navigate this topic, so here are some helpful guidelines and suggestions for addressing transgender issues with your children:

Keep It Simple

Relax. As a parent, you are the authority in your child’s life; but you don’t have to be an expert on every issue — including this one. And even the “experts” really don’t understand this issue. A few years ago, a gay identified psychiatrist was asked about gender confusion and responded, “The truth is we actually don’t know what it is. Is it a mental disorder or does the cause of gender dysphoria lie somewhere else?”    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/08/22/transgender-primer-manning/2687869/

So don’t think you have to understand everything about transgenderism or tell your children everything you know. Here are a few simple truths to communicate:

  • God made humans male and female.
  • Individuals are born either male or female.
  • Some people get hurt and confused, and they don’t like the way God made them.
  • As a result, some people wish they were the opposite sex.
  • Nobody can really change from one sex to the other.

Keep It a Dialogue

Use occasions such as this to connect with your children. Find out what they are learning, where they learned it and what they are thinking. Ask questions, such as:

  • Where did you see that?
  • Where did you hear that word?
  • Why do you think God made both boys and girls?
  • What do you think “transgender” means?
  • Do you think a boy can really turn into a girl?

This isn’t an inquisition but an opportunity to get to know your child better. So keep your tone conversational and friendly.

Older children and teens may have more questions, so we have a list of helpful resources at the end of this article. You might want to read some of these additional resources first, then read and discuss them with an older child.

Keep It Truthful

If you don’t know the answer to a child’s question, say so. Then tell your child you’ll look for an answer. Let’s say your son asks, “Why does he want to be a lady?” The real answer, if we’re honest, is “I don’t know.” None of us know all of the pain and false beliefs in the lives and hearts of persons who struggle with transgender issues.

Nevertheless, Scripture is clear about certain things, and those are what you can communicate to your children:

  • God made us in His image — male and female.
  • Sin entered the world and spoiled everything, including how we see ourselves.
  • God loves us and sent us Son to save us.

God wants us to live in truth about how He created us and who we are. We know God is powerful to save and transform lives — including the gender-confused. Tell your children this truth.

Keep It Kind

God has a deep love for sexually and relationally broken men and women — including those struggling with gender identity issues. These struggles are complicated and touch on deep aspects of our sexuality and being. The topic can provoke some to laughter or mockery, so work to maintain God’s heart for the gender-confused. He loves them with an everlasting lovejust as He loves each of us.

Your children will be watching you for cues about how to respond to gender identity disorder. Pray for God’s heart and for the ability to convey this to your children. Tone and attitude are as important as your words:

  • God loves all of us.
  • God loves men who wish they were women, as well as women who think they are men.
  • We may disagree with someone’s beliefs and choices; however, we can still be kind and loving.
  • We can pray for those who are gender-confused.

Keep It Affirming

When children see a transgender person on the news or on the street, they may feel curious, alarmed, confused or afraid. So when they ask questions about it, they’re not just asking for details about transgenderism. They’re also asking for comfort and affirmation. As a parent, you can respond positively:

  • I’m so glad God made you a girl!
  • I’m happy you’re my child and that you’re a boy.
  • What’s good about being a girl?
  • What’s good about being a boy?

Ask the Lord for wisdom and creativity for how best to affirm your sons in their masculinity and your daughters in their femininity.

Bruce Jenner: “Call me Caitlyn” Dear Bruce: “I Can’t”

SOURCE:  Joe Dallas

I know what you’re asking, and with respect and sadness, I’ve got to say no.

Jenner as Woman

We know you feel that you’ve always been a woman in a man’s body – we saw the interviews and the magazine covers – and we’ve been anticipating photogenic proof of your new identity for months now. Well, as of today, the cat’s out of the bag. Your upcoming Vanity Fair cover shot’s gone viral, and there you are, posed and dressed as a female, saying “Call me Caitlyn.”

But honestly, Bruce, I can’t. If you really don’t care for your prior name, then I could call you other things. Like Accomplished, for sure, and Beloved of God. I’d also go with Valued, as one of the millions Christ died for; Intelligent, from all I’ve seen and heard; and Gifted (there’s a no-brainer!) both in athletics and articulation. I’ll gladly call you all of those, because they fit. But calling you Caitlyn isn’t an option, because I believe that to do so is to join you in a well-orchestrated delusion. I guess to your thinking, Caitlyn’s the real you. But to mine, she’s a
real myth.

Not that you care, and why should you? You’re an icon with a dazzling Olympic resume; I’m an unknown blogger who cheered you on decades ago and today has an opinion contrary to yours. But it’s an opinion shared by millions who hold the old-fashion notion that the sex we’re given at birth is a permanent assignment, not open to renegotiation or refashioning. So speaking as one of many who’ve admired you deeply, but are now bewildered and distressed over your high-profile transition, let me respond to your public request.

I Can’t Because We’re Planned —
The child you were born as became a man who’s trying to become a woman, but who began, in fact, as a boy. And that was no accident.

One of the first things said about any newborn human is a sexual identification – “It’s a boy!”, or, “It’s a girl!” That’s instinctive; nobody teaches us to say that, yet we do because the sex we’re born with is something we both acknowledge
and celebrate.

But more than that, it’s a primary characteristic; a divine and critical distinctive, endowed on each of us by a Creator who knows beforehand who and what we’ll be. (Jeremiah 1:5) And that “what” is foreordained for life.

It’s part of the distinction God Himself created from the beginning, a male/female distinction He placed such high value on when He said, in essence, that the human experience would be incomplete without it. (Genesis 2:18) So the body we’re given at birth, including its male or female status, matters hugely. It’s foreknown, assigned, immutable. Attempting to change it is not only impossible; it’s an affront to the Designer’s competence and selection.

You’ve publicly said, “Bruce lived a lie every day,” and for you to say such a thing, you must really have felt your manhood was, in fact, a falsehood. But isn’t it possible, and really more feasible, to instead see it as an endowment which, for reasons we may not understand, you never felt comfortable with? To my thinking, the lie was the discomfort, not the endowment. Rejecting that very thing which identified you from the womb is what seems to be the ultimate in dishonesty.

— and I Can’t Because What’s Planned Overrides our Passions
I’ll be the first to admit I don’t relate to the transgender experience. I’ve never wished to be anything but male, so I won’t pretend I know what your struggle’s been like in that regard.

And yet, I kinda get it. Because I know what it’s like having people tell you that you are what you are, and that you cannot change what you are, even if you feel you must. That much I understand, because, somewhat like you, I’ve been told I couldn’t change the unchangeable.

31 years ago I repented of homosexual behavior and disowned the identification of “gay.” Three years later I married. Old friends told me I couldn’t change what I was, that my marriage would be a sham, that it would never last, that I was deluded. That was 28 years ago, and both my marriage and the family it produced, though very imperfect, is just about everything to me. It’s certainly more than I ever thought I’d have.

So I get it. I appreciate the need to stand your ground, even when everyone seems to be saying it’s quicksand. But how, really, do we determine the difference?
I think it gets down to how we got here, and Who arranged it. If we as people just happened – no Creator; no plan – then what we feel is the final determinant.

But if we’re created beings, then what matters is not so much what we feel we are, but what our Creator says we are. And conformity to His plan, evidenced both by the sex He assigned us and the standards He’s commissioned us in Scripture, takes priority over what we feel, no matter how passionate and deeply ingrained the feelings may be.

Look at it another way. If I said that all my life I’ve felt like Napoleon Bonaparte, despite all physical and factual evidence to the contrary, and that I was therefore going to modify my body to look like his, you’d logically tell me that my problem was my feelings, not my body. If I protested by saying that I felt Joe Dallas was a lie and Napoleon was the truth, you’d perhaps appreciate how passionately I felt, but you’d still conclude (again, logically) that the problem was my feeling, or my self-concept, or my identity. But not my body. You’d encourage me to see my false belief as a thing to resist rather than indulge. And surely, were I to say, “Call me Napoleon”, you’d pass.

Which is why I, and countless others, will also pass on your request to be called Caitlyn. Because no matter how artfully you reconfigure your male body, it will remain, at best, a re-configured male body. Never female; always the sex you were assigned. And that both bothers and even frightens us, because there are those who made the same decision, came to regret it, and found themselves horribly disillusioned because the drastic move they undertook to solve their conflict didn’t solve it at all.

But who knows where all this is going? There are others who’ve made the decision you made, regretted it, but then reversed it as best they could, finding peace with God and themselves in the process. My fervent prayer is that you become one of them, reclaiming the man you were meant to be while renouncing the falsehood of a woman who – again, with all due respect – I firmly believe you can never become.

“As soon as the Vanity Fair cover comes out I’m free,” you recently said.

Well, God love ya, Bruce, I see it another way. I think your belief in Caitlyn is the vanity. And I hope and trust that as soon as that vanity comes out, and in its place Christ comes in and reigns, then and only then will the myth be put to rest. And that’s when the man so many of us miss will find himself to be truly free.

God’s will be done. We sincerely wish you the best.

 

Seeing Me As God Sees Me

SOURCE:  Living Free/Martha Homme, MA, LPC

“Your life is safe in the care of the LORD your God, secure in his treasure pouch!” 1 Samuel 25:29 NLT

What makes you feel good about yourself?

We too often seek self-worth in the wrong places.

Thinness, performance and control do not equal significance and wholeness. We are important because God designed and created us. …Because he loved us so much that he sent his only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross so that our sins could be forgiven and we could live with him forever. We are his treasure and he wants to protect us, to keep us “secure in his treasure pouch.” When we don’t recognize that God loves us unconditionally, we set ourselves up for rejection, shame, guilt, hopelessness and powerlessness.

An eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia can be brought about by a person’s attempt to feel better about herself. This problem affects as many as eleven million women and men in the United States alone. Although sufferers are mostly girls and women, an increasing number of boys and men are affected as well.

If you are struggling with an eating disorder, it is vital that you seek medical help, as well as counseling from a professional. And remember that you are special because God created you and loves you unconditionally. In his eyes you are significant; you are his treasure. Through Jesus you can find safety, security and a sense of belonging.

The Bible promises that nothing can separate you from God’s love (Romans 8:38-39). Turn to him today. Thank him for loving you. Thank him for making you a special person. And ask him to help you overcome your eating disorder. You can do all things with his help.

Father, it is so difficult for me to see myself as an attractive, cared for, valuable person. Help me begin to understand how special I am to you. Help me to see myself through your eyes. In Jesus’ name …. . .

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These thoughts were drawn from …

Seeing Yourself in God’s Image: Overcoming Anorexia and Bulimia by Martha Homme, MA, LPC

Sexual Addiction: Help for Female Sex Addicts

SOURCE:  Rob Jackson, MS, LPC, LMHC, NCC

While sex addiction affects both males and females, the challenges faced by female addicts are greater.

Sex addiction is never really about sex, but about a hungry heart that craves intimacy. Sex is merely the vehicle that a person uses to find nurture and acceptance. This is the same mechanism of action at work in alcohol, drug, and other addictions.

While sex addiction affects both males and females, the challenges faced by female addicts are greater. As a foundation to understanding the unique plight of female sex addicts, a better understanding of sex addiction in general will be helpful.

Understanding sex addiction
Research varies on the prevalence of sex addiction and it is difficult to state with certainty that one gender has a higher incidence of sex addiction than the other does. Estimates of sex addiction range from three to ten percent within the general population. Dr. Patrick Carnes’ research has indicated that approximately 20% of those seeking help for sex addiction are female. This male female ratio is consistent with that found among recovering alcoholics.

Some of the factors that push sex addiction include the need to medicate emotional pain or escape an unsatisfactory situation, and the impulsive or even compulsive quest to satisfy unmet emotional needs. In short, sex addiction is best viewed as an attachment or intimacy disorder.

Regardless of gender, sex addicts are prone to multiple addictions and typically come from severely dysfunctional families. This is not always the case, however. In the majority of cases, at least one other member of the family has an addiction as well. Multiple addictions occur when an addict is addicted to sex and at least one other thing. For females, eating disorders are common, as is chemical dependency, and compulsions for work, spending, and gambling.

Women continue to be underrepresented in health and addiction studies. Many individuals, both professionals and non professionals, assume sex addiction is for men only. Research demonstrates that the majority of abuse survivors are female, making them more susceptible to addiction. Sadly, however, many females will go undiagnosed and often treatment of past sex abuse will be too limited to prevent later sex addiction. Even if counselors recognize that females can be sexually addicted, they may fail to recognize the feminine nuances that typically define female sex addiction.

The impact of childhood sexual abuse
A high correlation exists between childhood abuse and sex addiction in adulthood. Varieties of abuse include verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual abuse. Each of these types of abuse can be either obvious or hidden. For example, obvious verbal abuse involves the misuse of words, tone, and volume. A hidden type of verbal abuse is the failure to affirm someone with words of love and encouragement. More often than not, two or more types of abuse have occurred in the developmental history of sex addiction. When one considers the need for intimacy to be the primary motivator of a human being, it’s easy to see how abuse of any type undermines this core need and damages one’s ability to foster healthy attachment to others.

The double edge of females’ need for relationship
Females are generally more relational and nurturing than males. Their roles develop from playing dolls and babysitting to bearing and caring for children of their own. Even as wives and adult daughters, most women continue to provide the larger portion of nurture found in family life. This feminine giving of self is a godly attribute when done in a healthy, balanced way. The greater reception to relationship, however, can be both blessing and curse if the female’s trust in others has been violated by one or more forms of abuse. The hunger to connect remains, but it becomes combined with fear and mistrust. A false self may emerge as the female inadvertently seeks to protect herself from further exploitation. Left to her own fallen human nature, an exploited female may to seek to protect herself psychologically with various defenses and manipulations – both sexual and non-sexual. It’s not difficult to understand how a sexually wounded female might want to regain the innocence that was stolen from her during a vulnerable moment.

Without treatment and a safe recovery path, an exploited female may inadvertently use her sexuality either to punish men or herself. Sadly, the untreated sex abuse survivor often maintains distorted thoughts of how she and the perpetrator share blame for the abuse. The seductive survivor can be motivated to get even by enticing men. The closet female sex addict riddled with shame and self-contempt may punish herself by seeking to meet sexual needs privately and compulsively versus investing in an intimate relationship with her husband. Alternatively, she may starve herself sexually. Whatever the behavior, either obvious or hidden, it remains “the tip of the iceberg” where inner motivations laced with anger often remain a profound mystery for the addict and those who love her.

It is important to note that while all traumatic experiences affect us negatively, those involving abuse during childhood deeply affect the way we navigate life as adults. If you have suffered abuse in your past, please consider seeking out the professional treatment of a trained Christian counselor who specializes in this issue. Fear of disturbing old wounds may initially keep you from seeking out such help. Understand, however, that healing and resolving the wounds of your past will open up opportunities to live a healthier and happier life and will go a long way to preventing these damaged emotions and behaviors from being passed down to your children.

Unique challenges for the female sex addict

Gateways
For the last 50 years, our culture has promoted a heightened sexuality where children, particularly girls, are hyper eroticized with seductive fashions designed for adults. Particularly immodest clothing—or clothing designed to drawn unnecessary attention to the body—alters how a young girl views herself and presents herself to others. In turn, fashion also alters how others react to her. The culture’s emphasis on seductive media and casual sex, typified by the magazines in supermarket checkout lanes, can also serve as gateways to sex addiction.

The responsibility to identify this cultural trap rests with parents, but it’s not easy to wage an effective defense against the onslaught of sexualized media messages. The best defense begins in early childhood where both parents maintain an ongoing dialogue with their child about the blessings and responsibilities of sexuality. When parents approach this topic relationally during early childhood development, children are spiritually and emotionally empowered to make better choices as adolescents and adults.

Double Standards
Female addicts often suffer a greater social stigma and inner shame than do male addicts. Society promotes the stereotypes of “boys will be boys” and “good girls don’t,” even while grooming females to play the coy seductress. Female addicts may compartmentalize their sexually addicted self from the roles of wife, mother, and Sunday school teacher. This type of denial, duplicity, or splitting off only serves to strengthen the addiction, given the secrecy of a double life.

As Christians, we recognize that before God “there is neither …male nor female” (Galatians 3:28), thus double standards don’t exist within the mind of God. In His great compassion, God hates sin (not the sinner) and the traumatic effect it has on His children. The promotion of godly living for both males and females will pave the road to equal treatment and respect.

Special Considerations for Female Sex Addicts

The nuances of female sex addiction can perhaps best be explained by looking at the body, mind, and spirit connection.

The Body Physically and physiologically, males and females are obviously different. The less obvious factors encompassed in the physicality of being female include a woman’s innate desire to look attractive and her more complicated sexual arousal and release. When too great an emphasis is given to the body because of the culture, exploitation, or addiction, the balance of the inner woman is disturbed.

The Mind Mentally and emotionally, females are typically aroused in different ways than males. Where men tend to be visual and have greater interests in a woman’s body, or sadly, just parts of her body, women tend to remain relational – even in their attraction and arousal. For example, gateways for feminine arousal will often include ambience or environmental setting, the personality traits of the man, and how he seems to nurture her with attention. These factors are often exploited in soap operas, romance novels, and other things traditionally targeted to females.

The Spirit While both sexes suffered spiritual damage from the fall of humanity, the consequences for males and females are different. One consequence for females is that the woman’s “desire will be for (her) husband” (Genesis 3:10). This may account for greater vulnerability in females. Their hearts are turned more to their masculine counterparts, than, perhaps, men’s are toward women. This vulnerability is not inherently bad, but it can foster a heightened need for masculine approval.

The Recovery Goal
Ultimately, the recovery goal of a female sex addict is not unlike that of the male addict, but her journey differs from that of men. She must learn to harmonize her body, mind, and spirit in a way that affirms God’s design. In her feminine spirit, she is unique and her personality bears the creativity of God. Supports for her will include personal accountability, professional counseling, and participation in the community of faith and in recovery groups if available. Like the male addict, the female must get beneath the behavior in order to heal distorted thoughts, damaged emotions, and a wounded spirit.

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Rob Jackson is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice who specializes in intimacy disorders, including sex addiction and codependency.

9 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MALE BODY IMAGE ISSUES

Source:  The Gospel Coalition/Joe Carter

Body image is the mental representation we create of what we think we look like; it may or may not bear a close relation to how others actually see us. Body image issues are often treated as if they were only a problem for women (see here for 9 Things on female body images issues). But men suffer from many of the same debilitating problems caused by skewed perceptions of their bodies. Here are nine things you should know about male body image issues:

1. When it comes to weight concerns, a key difference between young men and young women is that females want to be thinner, while males tend to feel pressure to gain weight. “There are some males who do want to be thinner and are focused on thinness,” says Dr. Alison Field, an associate professor of pediatrics at Boston Children’s Hospital, “but many more are focused on wanting bigger or at least more toned and defined muscles. That’s a very different physique.”

2. One common body image problem for men is dissatisfaction with their muscularity (i.e., with having well-developed muscles). Research suggests that exposure to the media ideal of muscularity, and not muscularity per se, elicits body dissatisfaction in men with pre-existing muscularity concerns.

3. According to The Atlantic, even toys contribute to the distorted messages boys receive about the ideal male form. In the last decade or two, action figures have lost a tremendous proportion of fat and added a substantial proportion of muscle. “Only 1 or 2 percent of [males] actually have that body type,” says Dr. Raymond Lemberg, a clinical psychologist and expert on male eating disorders. “We’re presenting men in a way that is unnatural.”

4. Muscle dysmorphia – a pathological preoccupation with muscularity – appears to be a form of body dysmorphic disorder with a focus on muscularity (bodybuilders sometimes refer to this condition as “bigorexia”). One study found that those with muscle dysmorphia were more likely to have attempted suicide, had poorer quality of life, and had a higher frequency of any substance use disorder and anabolic steroid abuse.

5. A national study of adolescent boys published in JAMA Pediatrics found that males with high concerns about thinness but not muscularity were more likely to develop high depressive symptoms. Males with high concerns about muscularity and thinness were more likely than their peers to use drugs, and males with high concerns about muscularity who used supplements and other products to enhance physique were more likely to start binge drinking frequently and using drugs

6. Nationwide, about 4 percent of male high school students have taken steroids without a doctor’s prescription. The prevalence of having ever taken steroids without a doctor’s prescription was higher among Hispanic (4.2 percent) than white (2.8 percent) and black (2.3 percent) students.

7. A survey in the U.K. found that four out of five men confess to being unhappy about their body. Thirty-five percent of respondents said they would trade a year of their life to achieve their ideal body weight or shape.

8. Research studies have found that approximately 4 percent of male college undergraduates are at risk for an eating disorder. The proportion of the male population estimated to have a condition at some point in their lifetime is 0.3 percent for anorexia nervosa, 0.5 percent bulimia nervosa, and 2.0 percent for binge eating disorder.

9. The only complete way to overcome the problem is to have our beliefs about body image transformed by the Holy Spirit. As Heather Davis Nelson says in the Journal of Biblical Counseling:

In pursuing worldly beauty, we strive to become this elusive image in place of who we really are. You and I are created in the image of the living God. Our purpose is to reflect His image to the world. But since the fall, we let the world inscribe its image on us. It is the very picture of sin and ultimately death. Instead of being transformed to God’s image, we conform to the world’s image. We are hopelessly stuck in a lifeless cycle, exchanging God for the creature as our object of worship. But God in His mercy rescued us! In love, God sent Jesus Christ to take on the consequences of our idolatrous affair. He became sin so that we might become righteous. In Christ, God gives us freedom from sin’s power now and hope for its eradication in heaven. God makes you beautiful with the beauty of His Son, Jesus. It is in gazing at God’s image in Jesus Christ that you are transformed. Romans 12:1-2 says, “Therefore, I urge you, (sisters) in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

9 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FEMALE BODY IMAGE ISSUES

SOURCE:  The Gospel Coalition/Joe Carter

Body image is the mental representation we create of what we think we look like; it may or may not bear a close relation to how others actually see us. Here are nine things you should know about female body image issues:

1. The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty hired a criminal sketch artist to draw women as they see themselves and as others see them. The social experiment revealed that women’s perceptions of themselves were very different than how others view them.

2. According to the CDC, for women ages 20 years old and older, the average height for women in America is 5’3″ and weight is 166.2 pounds. For fashion models the average is 5’10” and 120 pounds.

3. By age 6, girls start to express concerns about their own weight or shape. 40-60% of elementary school girls (ages 6-12) are concerned about their weight or about becoming too fat. This concern endures through life.

4. The best-known contributor to the development of anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa is body dissatisfaction. The median ages for onset of an eating disorder in adolescents is 12- to 13-years-old. In the United States, 20 million women suffer from a clinically significant eating disorder at some time in their life.

5. Only four percent of women globally consider themselves beautiful.*

6. A global survey found that two thirds of women strongly agree that “the media and advertising set an unrealistic standard of beauty that most women can’t ever achieve.”

7. Researchers have found that “fat talk”—a phenomena in which a person makes negative claims about their weight to others—is an expected norm among women and a way for them to appear more modest.

8. A study published in the Journal of Eating Disorders found that while “fat talk” tended to decrease with age, “old talk” often came in to replace it, and that both were reported by women who appeared to have a negative body image.

9. The only complete way to overcome the problem is to have our beliefs about body image transformed by the Holy Spirit. As Heather Davis Nelson says in the Journal of Biblical Counseling:

In pursuing worldly beauty, we strive to become this elusive image in place of who we really are. You and I are created in the image of the living God. Our purpose is to reflect His image to the world. But since the fall, we let the world inscribe its image on us. It is the very picture of sin and ultimately death. Instead of being transformed to God’s image, we conform to the world’s image. We are hopelessly stuck in a lifeless cycle, exchanging God for the creature as our object of worship. But God in His mercy rescued us! In love, God sent Jesus Christ to take on the consequences of our idolatrous affair. He became sin so that we might become righteous. In Christ, God gives us freedom from sin’s power now and hope for its eradication in heaven. God makes you beautiful with the beauty of His Son, Jesus. It is in gazing at God’s image in Jesus Christ that you are transformed. Romans 12:1-2 says, “Therefore, I urge you, (sisters) in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

*Update: The post originally quoted the 2004 study that found only two percent of women globally consider themselves beautiful. A follow-on study in 2010 found the percentage had increased to four percent.

Family Dysfunction: The “Rigid” Family

SOURCE:  Adapted from an article by Living Free

“So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.Luke 15:20 NIV (Prodigal son returning)

“Then his father Isaac said to him, ‘Come here, my son, and kiss me.’ So he went to him and kissed him.” Genesis 27:26-27 NIV (Isaac and Jacob)

“So Moses went out to meet his father-in-law and bowed down and kissed him.” Exodus 18:7 NIV

“Jacob was half blind because of his age and could hardly see. So Joseph brought the boys close to him, and Jacob kissed and embraced them.” Genesis 48:10 NLT (a grandfather’s kiss)

[There are] five types of dysfunctional families (described in The Thin Disguise by Pam Vredevelt) that can lead to the development of eating disorders. Perhaps you or someone you know has a loved one struggling with an eating disorder. Or perhaps you will identify some potentially harmful characteristic that needs to be addressed in your family.

Healthy families are warm and affectionate. Rules, as well as people, are flexible. In dysfunctional “Rigid Families” flexibility is a nonexistent concept, and affection is seldom expressed. The father especially tends to be obsessive about the standards in the family. There is no warmth, no emotion. Each family member should be able to take care of himself or herself. This emotional neglect leads the child to believe that emotions and longings are wrong.

We serve a loving God who demonstrates his love for us in so many tangible ways. And so he wants us to show love through our words and actions. This is especially important in our family relationships. Our children need physical demonstrations and verbal expressions of our love. Nurturing—hugging, kissing or saying “I love you”—is so important.

[The above] Scriptures are examples of family members showing their love for one another with embraces and kisses. Appropriate, healthy demonstrations of our love for each other can mean so much in our relationships and in the emotional and spiritual development of our children.

Father, I thank you so much for my children. Thank you for demonstrating your fatherly love to me in so many ways. Help me to be warm and affectionate with my children. Help them to develop emotionally and spiritually in a way that is pleasing to you. In Jesus’ name …

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These thoughts were drawn from …

Seeing Yourself in God’s Image: Overcoming Anorexia and Bulimia by Martha Homme, MA, LPC. 

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