Soul-Care Articles: Christ-centered, Spirit-led, Biblically-based, Clinically-sound, Truth-oriented

SOURCE:  June Hunt

The Codependency Checklist Test

Are you unsure about someone who is significant in your life? Is it possible that you are in a relationship that others would call “codependent”? If so, how would you know? Read through the Codependency Checklist and make a check mark (√) by what is applicable to you.

□ Do you struggle with feeling loved; therefore, you look for ways to be needed?

□ Do you want to throw all of your energy into helping someone else?

□ Do you say yes when you really want to say no?

□ Do you feel compelled to take charge of another person’s crisis?

□ Do you feel drawn to others who seem to need to be rescued from their problems?

□ Do you have difficulty setting and keeping boundaries?

□ Do you find it difficult to identify and express your true feelings?

□ Do you rely on the other person to make most of the decisions in your relationship?

□ Do you feel lonely, sad, and empty when you are alone?

□ Do you feel threatened when the other person spends time with someone else?

□ Do you think the other person’s opinion is more important than your opinion?

□ Do you refrain from speaking in order to keep peace?

□ Do you fear conflict because the other person could abandon you?

□ Do you become defensive about your relationship with the other person?

□ Do you feel “stuck” in the relationship with the other person?

□ Do you feel that you have lost your personal identity in order to “fit into” the other person’s world?

□ Do you feel controlled and manipulated by the other person?

□ Do you feel used and taken advantage of by the other person?

□ Do you plan your life around the other person?

□ Do you prioritize your relationship with the other person over your relationship with the Lord?

If you responded with a yes to four or more of these questions, you may be involved in a codependent relationship!

When we find ourselves in unhealthy patterns of relating, we need to change our focus, change our goals, and change what is hindering us from running the race God has planned for us. Our primary focus should be not on a person but on Jesus.

“Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
(Hebrews 12:1)

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Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Codependency: Balancing an Unbalanced Relationship (p. 10). Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.

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