- 3 Ingredients for Good Parenting (Clinton & Hawkins, 2009):
- Love—children need hugs, physical contact, words of encouragement and affirmation, and quality time—all of these communicate love. Love also helps break down barriers and walls that we can’t see with our eyes. As a mom, you are to love your children even when it is undeserved. This does not mean that you accept everything that they do. It does mean that you remind them that you love them even when you disagree with or are heartbroken by their actions.
- Discipline—discipline, unlike punishment, always envisions a better future for the child. As a mom, you must discipline and train your children.
- Guidance—as a parent, it is your job to teach your children about life, guiding them in all areas, especially in God’s Word (Deut. 6:4-9). Guiding your children may also mean allowing them to make mistakes.
- Special Time: Helping Your Child Feel Loved and Cared for (Clinton & Sibcy, 2006):
- Before more structured behavioral techniques are used to help a child, the parent-child relationship must first improve.
- If a child is angry or feels unloved or uncared for, no parenting technique can make him behave.
- Special Time is playtime that parents intentionally invest in their child, and it is totally command free.
- During Special Time, parents are not allowed to give their child any commands or suggestions.
- Special Time should last for twenty to thirty minutes at a time and parents should allow their child to pick the activity they’d like to do together.
- Connection begins by starting with something your child actually likes. Avoid agenda-centered conversations. Enter your child’sworld. Be present and available to him or her without any other obligations competing for your time.
- “I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.”—Abraham Lincoln
- “A mother is the one to whom you hurry when you are troubled.”—Emily Dickinson
- “My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.”—George Washington
- “Perhaps it takes courage to raise children.”—John Steinbeck
- “Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother.”—Billy Graham
- “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
- “A mother understands what a child does not say.”—Jewish Proverb
- “You are not making memories with your children; you are the memory!”—Josh McDowell
- Key Thoughts (Morgan & Kuykendall, 2001):
- Mothers face the challenge of investing their time and energy in the lives of their children. The culture, however, confronts them with two messages: “Mothering is not a job,” and “Mothering is not a skill.”
- It can be difficult for women to value their major investment in life—mothering—when their culture judges that investment as having no value.
- Similarly, mothering skills, where time and energy are invested in the lives of those who can’t do for themselves, are undervalued.
- Mothers need to understand the value of their mothering from God’s perspective.
- Mothering is highly esteemed in God’s Word. Children are declared to be precious gifts from God (Ps. 127:3). Proverbs 31, the chapter describing the “virtuous woman,” pictures a mother who diligently cares for her household.
- Mothering cannot be defined by a paycheck or a promotion, but in the peace of mind that comes from being there for children.
- “She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”—Proverbs 31:26-27
- “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.”—Exodus 20:12
- “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.”—Psalm 127:3
- “Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying, ‘Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.’ Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”—Proverbs 31:28-30
- “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”—Proverbs 22:6
- “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”—Ephesians 6:4
Clinton, T. & Hawkins, R. (2009). The quick-reference guide for biblical counseling. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.
Clinton, T. & Sibcy, G. (2006). Why you do the things you do: The secret to healthy relationships. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson.
Morgan, E. & Kuykendall, C. (2001). “Does mothering matter?” The Bible for Hope. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson.