SOURCE: Adapted from an article at Living Free
[When] loved ones have life-controlling problems, we can’t fix our loved ones’ problems, but we can help by confronting in love, helping tear down the wall of defenses, brick by brick, until they are able to see themselves as they really are. Only then will they be able to move ahead toward recovery.
An important element of effective caring confrontation is to focus on what and how, not on why. The why question only serves to raise people’s defenses and makes it more difficult to penetrate their state of delusion. Instead, talk about observable behaviors that can be described by such words as what, how, when or where.
Why may break the communication because it questions motive. Yes, their motives may be wrong, but their delusion can best be penetrated by presenting the facts in a non-threatening way.
Remember that God is with both you and your loved one. Ask him to show you what to do, to teach you wisdom, and to guide you in this journey. He loves you both … and with him, all things are possible.
Father, I ask you to show me your ways, teach me your paths, and guide me in your truth. In Jesus’ name …
These thoughts were drawn from …
Close—But Not Too Close by Dr. Jimmy Ray Lee. A complement to the Concerned Persons small group study, this booklet is written primarily for those who want to help someone close to them who is enslaved by the stronghold of a life-controlling issue. It is also designed to help someone who is suffering the consequences of a loved one’s problem.