Soul-Care Articles: Christ-centered, Spirit-led, Biblically-based, Clinically-sound, Truth-oriented

Knowing How to HELP

SOURCE:  Adapted from an article by Living Free

“I know the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.” Psalm 16:8 NLT

[We must focus] on the action, not the actor … and descriptions, not judgment … when we lovingly confront a loved one with a life-controlling problem. [We must also focus] on ideas, information and alternatives—not on advice or answers. When talking to your loved one, be careful not to use scare tactics, give pat answers, or even offer specific advice. He or she may resent your insistence on giving help or answers. If he does seek your help, point out his options, which may include getting professional help, joining a support group, getting pastoral guidance, and so on.

When you provide information and alternatives, your loved one can feel free to choose a personal course of action rather than coming to depend on you. It is vital that he takes this step. Just as the Lord is right beside you, guiding you and helping you, he is also right beside your loved one. When this person you care about is ready to come to him, God will help him or her make the right choices.

Trust God for his help and direction. He loves you … and he loves this person you care about. Ask him to help both of you see things as they really are and make right choices. Always remember, you are not alone. And with God, all things are possible.

Lord, thank you for the assurance in your Word that you are right beside me … and my loved one. I thank you that you will guide him to the right choices and the right help when he is ready. Help me to trust you … and not try to figure it all out on my own. In Jesus’ name …


These thoughts were drawn from …
Close—But Not Too Close by Dr. Jimmy Ray Lee. A complement to the Concerned Persons small group study, this booklet is written primarily for those who want to help someone close to them who is enslaved by the stronghold of a life-controlling issue. It is also designed to help someone who is suffering the consequences of a loved one’s problem.

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